The Big Snore - Or dear god when will this be over?

I've had a couple of days of writing on the train on my way to and from London for the big bachelorette (drink up, ladies!). The man behind me on the trip there was listening to something on his iPod that he found extremely humerous, but his constant giggling was off-putting rather than inspirational. I hate everything I wrote yesterday. I hold him responsible.

Today was a little better. I managed to have my main character break into jail, but now she has to break out again. Why do I wrote myself into these ridiculous jams?

But I'm at 42,003 words. Here is a little excerpt of what I did with the pant rolling issue.


Gordon was impatient and restless through this speech, wanting to cut to the chase. He moved in his chair like his pants were full of killer bees. All the workings of his face said that he didn’t want to waste time on philosophical musings that meant nothing to him and didn’t speak to his experience. I had met many people like Gordon. I knew his every thought. Gordon liked to believe that he had earned every privilege he had ever had through his own merit. All he wanted to know from Tracy was how to save his own skin. He didn’t recognize that what she was telling him was the key to saving not only his own skin, but everyone’s. He was untouched by her story. He was like a wool pant that had been rolled at the cuff for a casual-chic look – the rolling inevitably drooped down and left no impression in the soft fabric. Pearls before swine, it’s a saying for a reason.

The next excerpt I wrote at Sammy's, having come across a very bizarre internet account about a man who purchased a taser for his wife for their 30th anniversary. I think it shows some of Edie's dark side.

She stiffened in her seat, her eyes searching the rearview mirror for a glimpse of me. I let her have one. She opened her mouth to scream, reaching for the cell phone that was sitting on the dashboard. So I tasered her good and proper. I didn’t want to do it, but when I saw that her scrubs were covered in cartoons of baby seals gambolling and singing I didn’t feel as bad. I felt like clubbing them and gave her another shot with the taser for good measure.

I had purchased the taser from Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop. I had been drawn to an advertisement in the window: “Pocket Taser Stun gun: Great gift for the wife. Give the little lady a little something extra for that special anniversary.” I had never actually used it and didn’t know what to expect. However, judging by the woman’s reaction to the course of electricity that was shooting through her body, she would not have appreciated this gift to mark an anniversary, or even a birthday.